Witness for the Prosecution

I think my neighbor is holding my cat hostage. I’ve always had a suspicion that she was taking Jackson in during the day when we weren’t home. He usually meets us at the car when the first one of us arrives home from work, and he usually comes from the direction of her front door. Some days, he never comes at all. But he’ll show up the next day and all is forgotten. You will recall that he disappeared for over a month in the summer. I had a feeling that she had him that whole time. It is clear that wherever he was, he was certainly getting fed, as he grew about twice his size during that month (i.e., he was not starving in an alleyway somewhere).

I should note that she is a crazy old cat lady. She has many cats herself and I have several reasons to believe she is crazy:

Exhibit A: She sticks silk flowers into her bushes in the front yard.

Exhibit B: We have lived here for three years and have never met her. Every time we see her outside, we approach to say “hello,” and she turns her face and runs in the house.

Exhibit C: Steve found her car keys lying on the sidewalk next to her parked car one afternoon. He rang her doorbell to return them, but she would not answer (he could hear here moving around inside).

Exhibit D: She allegedly started screaming at another one of our neighbors one day for being an alcoholic for no apparent reason (nobody is quite sure of why she thought he was one).

Exhibit E: She left a very confused taxi driver idling in her driveway for two hours one Sunday afternoon (I was monitoring the situation while pulling weeds).

Exhibit F: She will randomly blast old, depressing country music at night from time to time.

So, there you have it, she is crazy.

Anyway, I expressed my theory regarding her cat stealing to our other neighbors last night, and they agreed that it was entirely within the realm of possibility. They are lucky to have met the mystery lady, and feel that she frequently makes up elaborate scenarios in her mind and then acts upon them. For instance, they said that she might think that we neglect Jackson by going to work all day, so she needs to take him in and care for him.

Needless to say, Jackson did not come home tonight, so I am PISSED. I want to go over there and bang on her door and steal him back. But then I wonder if I am the one making up elaborate scenarios in my head?? I feel that the neighborhood corroboration on my theory makes it likely that I am not the crazy one, but I think Steve disagrees.

I guess there’s nothing I can do for now. But you can bet I will be continuing to gather evidence against this weirdo.

UPDATE: Just in case anyone was worried about Jackson, you can stop. Right after I wrote this, I turned off the computer and decided to call him one more time before I got ready for bed. He came in and spent the night all warm and snuggly in the garage with his two little brothers.